Why Are Heiresses So Dumb?

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There must be some kind of genetic flaw you get when your an heiress. Something that makes you a skank, lesbian, general dumbass or all of the above. Remember Courtenay Semel, the Yahoo! heiress who lezzed it up with Blohan? Well apparently she hangs out with Band Aid heiress Casey Johnson. Casey went to Courtenay's house after a fight with her girlfriend. Instead of getting the comfort (and rug munching) she bargained for, and instead got her hair lit on fire!

"Casey went to Courtenay's house, and Courtenay proceeded to beat the crap out of her, and then she lit her hair on fire. Casey had to be hospitalized."

This shit is getting out of hand! I can barely keep track of all these heiresses. I mean, these are the fruits of Band Aids and a search engine, I would hate to see the heiress behind Marlboro or Absolut! They would basically implode.