Lindsay Lohan On The Brink Of Destruction

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Everyone Lindsay was ass-wasted last week at Cuckoo in London, but a reporter happened to be sitting next to her and things may be worse than just a booze and drug problem.

I’m used to celebrities getting wasted, making fools of themselves and larking around. But what I witnessed at London’s Cuckoo nightclub this week was beyond anything I’ve ever seen before. Step forward fallen movie star Lindsay Lohan who was on the table next to me at the venue. I watched open-mouthed as Linds sat with her straggly hair all over her face looking strangely detached from the world and mumbled: “I feel so, like, caged. Totally caged.” Unfortunately, the creepy behaviour continued as Lindsay and her posse visited the bathrooms. My spy tells me: “She just wouldn’t stop saying she felt caged. She was just not all there and it really was like watching a broken girl in the middle of a complete breakdown. She spent much of the night furiously texting Sam Ronson - and wasn’t best pleased about the texts she was getting. Everyone with her was actually very concerned about her. She seemed like a girl on the brink of self- destruction.”

The question I keep asking myself is when hasn't Lindsay Lohan been on the brink of destruction? Mean Girls? That was the pinnacle of her career - but homegirl's always been a train wreck. She needs to get over SamRo. What the hell does she see in her anyways? Even if she was hot and talented, she's always wearing those retarded Nike sneakers! That just makes her totally not dating material.