White Oprah Vouches For Lindsay

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Remember the last time you were headed to court and really just needed that great reliable "expert witness" who would give mountains of credibility on the stand? And then the light bulb went off and you called Dina Lohan? No? Hmm. Well she sure is credible because she has come out to stand up for Lindsay (once again) and tell people to leave her alone and that she didn't steal $60K worth of jewelery.

"Last month her personal cell was posted online and now her phone messages have been hacked. This must stop. She is a 22-year-old girl who needs to live her life in peace. The tabloids need to leave her alone with all the lies and reporting with no proof." She went on the call the story "defamatory, false and unfair. Elle made a public statement backing Lindsay." And finally, before she passed out again, she said, "Lindsay has been home with me and her family for awhile now, celebrating her little brother [Cody's] confirmation and his 13th birthday."

Wow. White Oprah is stepping up her game! She must have taken a 3-day break from the Long Islands to get a clear head. Playing the religion card is the oldest politician trick in the book. Hey sorry I got a DUI and snorted fifteen kilos of coke, but hey look! Forget all that! I have a bible! Ha - Dina Lohan really needs to shoot herself.